I’m guessing the most popular question this time of year is “traveling home for the holidays?” And I’ve never heard a person say, “YES!” without a “but” attached to it, or with such enthusiasm you’d think he’d won the lottery. Family drama is often high around the holidays and I’m not just talking about the drunk uncle, or drunkle (my pet name), who always shows up.

Deny it all you want, but secretly everyone dreams of the Norman Rockwell Hallmark Hall of Fame scenario at our tables. What I know of those two things are:
1. Norman never went home.
2. Hallmark cards are written by copywriters.

Are you still dreamily packing your bags in your house, or apartment, thinking you’ll…
…get your mother’s approval in that new dress.
…your dad is going to think you look successful in your sharp suit and tell you so.

As some wise people believe, “Expectations are resentments under construction.” When the turkey has been passed and none of these compliments surface, you will resent those parents. At first you won’t recognize it because the alcohol may dull your anger, but it will come out when you least expect it.

Traveling home takes more preparation than we think. Why? Because we live our every day lives as grown ups, however, when we go home our family sees us as that same old annoying teenager. It’s partially our fault. When we borrow shampoo, makeup, toothpaste and hairdryers we are acting like one. So first rule of thumb, if you don’t want your mom to treat you like a teenager out of the gate pack your own stuff.

Nine times out of 10 your anger will present itself at the dinner table causing you to eat everything in sight. Portion control on Thanksgiving is for sissies. In case of this self -sabotaging emergency, make sure the fat pants are packed. The elastic ones normally reserved for movie marathon weekends.

The one thing you can’t pack, unless you’re sleeping with him/her is your counselor, but you can pack the peace of mind you have been working toward. Carve out at least 1 hour of solo time either walking or running. The freedom of being outside and moving will clear your head. Praying or meditating outside can also center you. Even if it’s cold, do it for yourself. Clearing your head for one hour can relieve you of stress you don’t realize is building up.

Lets face it, traveling home any time of year isn’t always easy. When you have the right frame of mind you can be anywhere and it feels like a vacation even if it’s home for the holidays.

Enjoy.
Lucy Vine