I am turning 40 this week. I’ve been looking back at this journey of life through pictures, videos on Beta, and my own thoughts.
I’ve had some terrible haircuts, horrible outfits (I know they were in style when the pictures were taken) and a few not so leading men. However, life is meant to be lived looking forward, after all nothing happens in the past.
"Don't I look cute in my brother's hand me downs?"
I’ve heard it said the rear view in a car is small because we’re supposed to be looking through the big windshield in front of us. My problem is I overcrowd my rear view mirror with regretful faces and bad choices and can’t see clearly in front of me. If I could take a snap shot of how I see myself right now, I definitely need to get my hair done. I am fit, but I am weighed down by the mixed assortment of past baggage I carry everywhere I go.
Wanting to propel myself forward with baggage packed tightly into a sleek overnight duffle on wheels, I conducted my EXIT Interview here on The Perspiration Journal© site. No, I did not find the quick fix I always look for, or a carousel to leave all my baggage and watch it slip away, which would have been nice.
In the EXIT Interview I asked myself a few questions that if I am giving honest answers, then the next year of my life could hold some incredible new experiences. (You won’t waste your time by checking the EXIT Interview out for more details and your own discoveries.)
"I hope I'm thinking 'my hair is terrible, hopefully my mom won't ever get into scrapbooking and put this in a photo album"
The first question is simple, what have you learned about yourself this year?
My first response: I can live life without Oprah. Upon further thought though, I realize I am born to create. Whether it be through writing, photography, or pudding painting, the dream of creating will not die. Immediately I have a sense of purpose to finish these questions.
Another question: What self- defeating rituals or practices have I continued that I am finally prepared to leave behind?
My first response: Am I gonna hold onto eating all the candy I can in one sitting for this year? BUT I immediately think of defeated thinking. Leaving this one behind is is harder than it sounds. It is easier for me to have terrible thoughts about myself than plowing through a bag of mini Baby Ruth’s. But the only way to live in the now, as my old friend Oprah says, is to let go of the past. Since my defeated thinking is directly related to my past mistakes, living forward will allow me room for hope, dreams and continued improvement.
I was encouraged to create a Life Pyramid. Sketching this out I recognize the need to put my dreams and goals at the forefront of my life. Having a clean house is a great goal, however, this year I will not let it dictate my dreams. I will complete my first book this year, I will print more of my own photography, in order to accomplish these I will believe in myself.
The only journey you have not purchased a ticket for is life, because it is a passage of discovering who you are and what you were created for. As with any trip, it is your choice where you are going and how you will enter and exit. I will exit this year looking forward to the ones to come.
