I have always been an advocate of Giving Hate a Chance. By Hate, I am not referring to committing venomous. vitriolic, spiteful, malicious, bigoted, petty, violent or inhumane acts. That to me is not Hate, that’s Politics.

HATE is often too generalized a word. It is used too articulate every unlikable action or emotion. If is generally associated with evil or wrong doing but that is not the case. There is a thin line between love and hate in terms of how the brain processes these emotions. One major difference between love and hate appears to be in the fact that large parts of the cerebral cortex – associated with judgement and reasoning – become de-activated during love, whereas only a small area is deactivated in hate.*

For the purposes of this journal entry, when I use the word HATE I’m invoking reason linked to emotion. Basically, it’s a call to action.

1. Frustration leads to innovation.
After I had left school. I had no focus. I had a series of dead end jobs. One day I looked into the mirror and saw my reflection. I was fat, unemployed, weak, and living at my parents’ home. I hated who I had become. I knew I was capable of more. I deserved to treat myself better. That day, something in me shifted and I never looked back. I went about the work of taking charge of my Life. Since then I have traveled the world and found a career I love. I embraced fitness and exercise when I at my lowest point. Love was not going to save the day.

I recognized some part of me must be rewarded by the cycle of self-abuse. It was a pain I was used to and the people who loved me most were incredibly sympathetic. What I needed was kick in the pants. I believe only when you have had enough of something, you break the cycle. Yes, there are always extenuating circumstances but you can still plot your way out. Change takes risk and we are always inclined to be risk averse. You only hurt the one you love.

2. Hate can be fun.
I used to hate the commercialization of Valentine’s Day. I hated it. It was especially more hateful of a day when I was single. One year, I rallied all my single friends, male and female, to go out for a group dinner to celebrate Valentine’s Day. What started as a small joke turned into a movement. The group grew to 23 people from an initial invite of four friends. Everyone wanted to play when they heard what we were doing. We made a restaurant reservation. We all dressed in black and celebrated the fabulousness of being happy, healthy and single.

Years later, we have all moved on. Some members of the group are married, some are in committed relationships, some of us have kids and some of us are still single. The fact is we adopted the spirit of the Valentine’s Day celebration and twisted it to make a little black comedy of it all. Rather than the day be about romantic love, we celebrated friends, family, and community. Everything has a duality. It is important to hold both light and dark equally. I have taken the sting out of the word HATE by claiming it and making fun of it. No pretense. No campaign. We are responsible for our feelings. We own my thoughts. Move forward.

3. Hate can be a strong motivator.
Ask yourself. “Do I hate the idea of living my Life without my loved ones?” Don’t you feel the energy and how that inspires Love and protection? This is why we champion the health and sustenance of our relationships. Otherwise, why wouldn’t you just let it all go? Who would care? Our hatred of loss is why we fight dearly to hold on to what we have.

Being a “good person” does not require one to fall on his/her sword. Stand up for yourself. Embrace all the emotions in your playbook. Love will empower you and Hate can help you create strategy to succeed in a potentially hostile environment.

4. Know your Haters.
For every force there is always an opposing and opposite force. Mark my words, when you are doing something right, there will be people who resent you for it. It is human. Hurt people hurt people. This is true of all great leaders. Keep your eyes open. Even your haters have something to teach you.

We are taught to alienate ourselves from our darker feelings. There are more colors in the emotional palette than just black and white. You have to be a mature adult to even grasp the concept of duality. 

I suspect we worry if we were to journey too far into the darkness, we wouldn’t be able to turn back. Hear me say this to you, if your heart is genuine, you will turn back. You WILL turn back. Nature always corrects itself, look to history.

Everything you feel is a part of who you are, regardless of how you may attempt to sweep it under the rug. Learn to dance with all shades in your color palette.

Hatefully,
Erwin

* The Independent – Scientists prove it really is a thin line between love and hate