Finding Your Passion:
Sometimes it take 32 Jobs
This is Part One of Two.

In my last post, I have recounted the 20 jobs I held before 25 years old. After job number 20, I was at the end of my tether. I was very sad and frustrated because I did not know what I wanted to do with my life. I felt alone and trapped. I thought I was a smart person but where was the evidence of this? I couldn’t get a beak so I thought. The truth was I lacked the sense to capitalize on a break, i.e. my Vibe Magazine refusal.

I was back living in my parent’s home. They were very supportive, perhaps too much so. They made it easier to fail and pretend it wasn’t my fault. Privately, I was very concerned about my inability to hold a job. Up until then, I had never held a job for longer than six months. I left college before graduating so I wasn’t sure I had a place in the job market.

Simply said, I lacked confidence.

Jobs age 25-30

After the flame out that was TGI Fridays, I had changed my life. I quit my vampire lifestyle and started to watch my diet. Exercise made its first appearance. This was all very new to me. Slowly, I started to develop more confidence.

20. Movie Theater Usher at Anjelika Film Center
From Broadway to Art Film Theater, I needed a job and I took this one. This was supposed to be a high end theater and a more sophisticated atmosphere. It sucked bad buttered popcorn.
What I learned? I learned that sometimes you have to do something you hate until you get a better opportunity. Now I had to learn to inform my face not to show the hate.

21. Barista/ Assistant Manager Gourmet Coffee Shop
This is the job I turned Vibe down for. Yes, I was respected, appreciated and promoted to Asst. Manager of a company that shortly would go out of business. The company was attempting to be the next Starbucks and the corporate culture changed. Suddenly, I found myself plotting and planning my rise like my peers. Not one person came out of that situation looking good.
What I learned? I  need to check my ego because my integrity had a price tag.

22. Customer Service Manager for a Car Dealership
It was the first job that I held for 1 year. It also was the first time I was being paid $10/hour and had health insurance. I learned my worth and would never work for less that $10/ hour again.
What I learned? I learned customer service and car dealerships are natural enemies. This was when I realized that

23. Office Assistant for Presentation Graphics Firm
I worked for two former customers from the coffee shop. I quit the car dealership to move here. I worked 30 hours per week and got caught in between the two owners’ private petty in-fighting. Since they couldn’t fire each other, I was positioned to be the sacrificial lamb. I was “laid off”, over the phone, no severance, a half hour before I was to show for work. This was the job that finally caused me to say ENOUGH. I deserved to be respected and would never take another job I was not passionate about.
What I learned? I learned Powerpoint and how to make corporate presentations.

Realization: No more schmucks.

Every bad boss I ever worked for had one thing in common, ME!

What was it about me? What issues was I refusing to face or simply not seeing? If I refused to see me, I was destined to continue along this path.  To risk being redundant, I was completely fatigued from making the same mistakes over and over. When you don’t have a driving ambition that is guiding your career decisions, sometimes you simply have to pause. Ofcourse, you need to financially be able to do just that.

I had won an unemployment settlement for wrongful termination, ironically, from the coffee company that I thought was going to be my salvation. I had a small financial cushion to live on and I made a conscious choice to live passionately. I started working out at the gym and exercising whenever I was not working. Suddenly, my confidence grew alongside my physical strength. My job choices began to alter too.

24. Powerbar Rep
I was paid to basically represent Powerbar at sporting events and give out samples. As an new athlete, it was awesome to have an endless supply of bars at my disposal.
What I learned? So this is what it is like to be passionate at your job.

25. Door-to-Door canvasser for Greenpeace
Since Powerbar was part-time, I thought this was a good idea in theory. I like the environment. I was dropped off in a Jersey suburb for two hours and went from door to door to try to get people to join Greenpeace. People were very nice generally but this was not for me.
What I learned? I learned I can be pretty thin-skinned.

26. Film Production PA
I got the job and realized it was the same Greenpeace trap. It was like working in Camp Vacamas all over again.
What I learned? I learned you have to say no to crap jobs or you will work them forever.

26. Spinning Instructor/ Fitness Professional
I didn’t seek this out. I spent so much time at the gym, I was encouraged to work there. I did and it was a natural fit. I was instantly successful.
What I learned? If you are doing what you are meant to be doing with your life you will be effortlessly successful. However, you can not rest on your laurels.

Jobs After 30

I am hard headed and rested on my laurels and started searching for jobs again. The fitness industry is flexible enough to allow you to do that.

27. Model
I was a fitness model.
What I learned? Ask questions and make sure you don’t sign anything.

28. Party Promoter
I had an opportunity to throw my own party at a swank nightclub. I wanted to throw a party that socially I was excited to go to. I wanted something that was really over-the-top and spectacular like Studio 54. I was so naive. In retrospect, I can’t believe the club invested in me. It was moderately successful. I worked my butt off maintaining two full-time jobs but I burned myself out and couldn’t keep the momentum. It is not for people with daytime lives.
What I learned? Party promoting is not about party planning, it is about cultivating relationships and getting people in the door to buy drinks. More importantly, you need to be OUT every night, all night, doing the rounds and working people. If you don’t “party”, you have an uphill battle. That I didn’t do drugs didn’t help my cause.

29. DJ
I wanted to DJ. I love music. I promoted, created, found corporate sponsors and a venue to continue my weekly party on my own terms. Then I hired myself to DJ.
What I learned? When you are the boss, you can call the shots.

30. Production Manger for a Photo Shoot
What I learned? I am awesome under pressure. I can also be influenced to alter my path for money and the appearance of glamour.

31. Production/ Orientation Manger for an Entertainment Design Company
What I learned? Never to forget to Cover Your Arse part TWO. Don’t trust your employer completely. They have no problem throwing you under the bus to save the deal. Also, don’t be naive to drop your guard with clients. Clients are not friends. Your friends don’t pay your salary. It doesn’t matter how friendly they become, keep that wall up.

32. Full-time Fitness Professional and Creator of KINETIC Sculpt™.
What I learned? I kept defining myself as a “trainer” or “Spinning instructor” but who I am is a teacher. I love teaching people and helping them grow. It was only then, I developed my own program.

As you can see, I have held lots of jobs and I have edited a few out. So what was the worst job of them all? To be honest, it was never the job that was bad. It was the employer that dictated the experience. I would have been happy digging ditches if I were treated with fairness and dignity.

The best recommendation I can make to anyone searching for his/her dream job, is to search inside yourself. Mine your passions, your interests and say yes to Life. You may discover you say NO much more than you think. You will be most defined by the things you say No to. Creation is always harder work.

Change takes rigor. Be brave. Even as I write this, my career is moving in a new direction. I am still scared but I am more energized than frightened. Are you ready to be responsible for your happiness?

In the words of one of my favorite songs “Steer” by Missy Higgins, “Now you finally know, you control where you go, you can steer.”

Honestly Hard Working,
Erwin

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Foad9fP-hHY[/youtube]